Sunday, March 25, 2007

A Story in My Life #7

Just when I think there won't be anything to tell about this story for a few months, I get a letter in the mail. (If you don't know this story, click the MR label at the end of the page to catch up.) A letter that brought tears; first of sadness, and then of happiness.

The letter was from the adoptive father(R). He had just received my letter from 2001 and the letter written last month. He had written a paragraph or two in the first letter I received years ago, but all other correspondence has been with the adoptive mother. He was writing this letter because he and MR's mom divorced several years back, and MR now lives with him, and his new wife.

This brought me to tears. It shattered my illusion that MR had the perfect life, with the perfect family, which of course would be affirmation that I had made the perfect choice. Soon I remembered there was no perfect choice. When facing an unplanned pregnancy, all the choices are difficult, all have life long consequences, and none are perfect.

There are no perfect lives or families for that matter, and that is ok. Hard times expose our foundations, and our values. They break down walls around our heart, and humble us. For Christians, they are opportunities to allow Christ's life to grow in us. I can't expect that any of my children will be spared the hard times. I can only pray that through those times they will truly find their life is in Christ. I hope that has been MR's experience.

R apologized for the lapse in communication, and explained that they had always intended to stay in contact, but things got lost in the shuffle. I certainly don't blame him. It happened. It can't be changed now.

He sent recent pictures. She is a beautiful young woman. In the letter he described her personality a bit more. A beautiful young Christian woman. Again, from the picture and the description I could see so many attributes of myself and her biological father. I look at the pictures and it seems unreal that she is actually the baby from that hospital so many years ago.

Then the best news. In R's words, "MR has all along wanted to meet you as we have. MR is almost 18 and I think it can be arranged. We are heartily looking forward to it." I am crying as I type this. Yes, I admit to a bit of nervousness about this, but I am so excited! And so you know how awesome my husband is, he is just as excited as I am.

So where does this story go from here? I will probably write a letter in response. M.R. needs to contact the agency, and then I assume they will contact me, or perhaps since I gave permission, for them to help her, they will just give her the address. I am really not sure. One way or another it looks like we are headed toward direct contact. I couldn't be more thrilled, and I will keep you updated!


  1. Hi :),
    I just now sat here and read your entire story. You are very brave to share it.
    It touches me deeply because my mother gave a son up for adoption before she married and had my sisters and I. Everything was so closed back then, so there was NO contact after the adoption. My mother never told us about the baby. We found out from someone after we lost her to cancer. Then, a few years later, his adoptive mother contacted us. It was very sad for him to find out that she was dead. He closed was like if he couldn't meet her he didn't want to meet any of us. So, I am so happy that yours has been a healthier experience...I know it is going to have a happy ending.

  2. How exciting for you!

    I'll be praying for you and your family (and MR) that everything goes well.

  3. Stephanie, that's wonderful. I think it's amazing how God prepares our heart for these changes/new events.

  4. I am so excited for you! It's a shame about the divorce, but at least she remained with one of the parents. You never know, the split may have been for the best.

    I hope the reunion will be all you hoped for and more. Thanks for sharing this with us!

  5. What wonderful news! I hope that things will go smoothly, and I will keep you (and all involved) in my prayers!

  6. How lovely of the adoptive father to write. I am so thrilled for you! Praying the contact and potential relationships will be a blessing for everyone involved.
    Aunt Nancy

  7. Wonderful! I am so happy for you Stephanie!

    As a divorced parent, sometimes it is better for the child if the parents aren't together! Sometimes the step parent is the better choice!

  8. WOW this is so amazing!!! I can't believe that all this happened so quickly. (Certainly to you an eternity but it seems quick from the outside I suppose.)

  9. Wonderful! I am doing a happy dance for you.

  10. How exciting! I'm praying for you all.

  11. My heart swelled and my eyes welled as I read this. I am so happy for you!