It has been quite some time since I've said anything here about M.R. It isn't that there hasn't been anything to say; there has been a lot of back and forth. It takes me awhile sometimes to process what has and is happening, and how I feel about it. In this situation, for the last few months, it seems that as soon as I have processed one bit of news, there is something new that makes need to reprocess it all again. Now, though, there has been less back and forth and more continual motion in the same direction.
We are on the road to meeting each other. M.R. has started the process with the state to open up the adoption records. I'm really not sure what all is involved, but have been told it can be a long process. In the meantime we are emailing, through the adoption agency.
It is so amazing, and slightly bizarre, to get emails from her. Tim has asked several times how I feel about all of this, and the real answer is I don't know. I can't explain it. It is good, certainly, but almost surreal. I feel so connected to her, yet I do not even know her at all. How do you feel when something that you have wondered about and wished for for almost 19 years is happening? I don't have words for it.
I'm not sure how much I will post about this anymore. I like to have a place to record all the events, and writing about it does help sort out the thoughts and feelings, but I also want to respect her privacy. So with that I'll end here.
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