Friday, February 23, 2007

A Story in My Life #6

I received a very sweet email from a reader yesterday, wondering what was happening with M.R. It has been about three weeks since I spoke with the adoption agency and received the letter from the adoptive family. (All correspondence with the adoptive family goes through the agency. We do not have each others' addresses.) I really did intend on updating here. I can't believe it has been so long. My apologies to those who were waiting for an update.

This story in my life is an ever constant undercurrent. It sometimes comes to the surface, as it had when I started sharing it here. Sometimes there are other things that keep my attention and time, as it has been the last few weeks. The contact with the agency and the adoptive family eased my anxiety, allowing this subject ease back down in my mind.

The last few weeks here have also been filled with out of the normal busyness. I need quiet when I sit to think (or write) about this subject. Quiet has been in short supply lately. There are my excuses, onto the story.

The letter I received was very dated. It was from 1999. I was a bit frustrated by this at first. This letter apparently had gotten buried in a file. Though I wasn't always prompt in keeping my address updated, (We have moved a lot.) I know that it has been updated since 1999! More frustrating, was in the letter the adoptive mother indicated that she would like to keep contact. She asked lots of questions about me and my life now (then.) I had written a letter in 2001 (of course not knowing about this letter from 1999.) I wonder if they ever got it?

It wasn't until the agency hired a new employee that the letter (1999) was forwarded. Coincidence that this happened around the same time this story started bubbling to the surface of my mind again? Maybe.

Maybe it was the Lord's timing. The years (and the Lord) have brought healing. Getting the letter this time was different from times before. Before I really wanted the updates, but each time one came it was like peeling a scab off a wound. I would bleed a little.

Receiving the letter this time was refreshing and joyous. It brought relief. There is a scar there, but the wound seems healed and ready for new things. Why waste time and energy with frustration or anger about what could have been if I'd gotten the letter in 1999? What is done is done. It has been worked together for good.

The letter was full of things about their family and M.R. The adoptive mother included mostly joys about M.R. and hinted at some frustrations. (normal parent type stuff) She also included school pictures from several years and a card made by M.R. that was really sweet. When the letter was written, M.R. would have been about the same age as Kellen is now. It was interesting to think of it with that perspective.

When considering all the letters, it is interesting too seeing how much she is like me, and my other children. The family has three biological sons and M.R. I remember in earlier letters, the adoptive mother saying how different M.R. was from the boys. It went beyond the girl/boy differences. She was just created differently. Maybe my next post will be about the things I know about M.R., like her personality and such.

For now, there really isn't much else to tell. I need to write the letter to the adoptive agency that will allow M.R. to access information if she requests it. I've also decided to include a letter for the adoptive family. Not exactly sure what I will say, but unless their opinion has changed dramatically over the years since they wrote their last letter, I think my letter will be welcomed. The worst that will happen is it will get buried in a file somewhere!


  1. Thanks for sharing such a private matter with us. I, for one, need to go back into your archives- have a great weekend!

  2. Toni,
    (or anyone else) just click on the label M.R. if you need to catch up on this story

  3. I was interested in what happened but didn't want to push you before you were ready to share. I'm glad that God has put things into your hands at the right time and that the family wants contact to some extent. Remember that you are in my prayers!

  4. That's something about it being "lost" for all that time. Does make you wonder about it being an accident or part of the scheme of things.

  5. That's wonderful news! What a blessing for things to come full circle.