Stress Breaker

The last few days I have been feeling very stressed. OK well, maybe the last few weeks. September is a hard month for us. Tim is off most of June and part of July. His schedule picks up about mid August, peaking mid September and coming back to normal anytime soon! :)

It is good. This is where the bulk of his commission is generated for the whole year. It is bad. At peak, he is working three 12+ hour days a week, 2 eight hour days and every other Saturday for 4 hours. He is exhausted and never home.

I also feel like I am working overtime. I am exhausted too. This week it has hit me pretty hard. I think because it is October and the busy time is supposed to be over and it is not. (good and bad again!) Also, the last few weeks have been busier than normal with doctor appointments and the like. It throws us off schedule and makes homeschooling and normal daily stuff like laundry that much harder to accomplish.

I have had little patience with the kids and yelling much more than I'd like. I spent the better part of this afternoon feeling frustrated, overwhelmed and sorry for myself. Then I sat outside for a bit holding the baby and watching the other kids play.

It was a beautiful evening. I was enjoying doing nothing. We came in and had a quick and easy dinner and I sat down and ate with the kids instead of trying to do laundry or dishes. As a family, we almost always sit down for dinner, but I find when Tim is not home I tend to serve the kids while I am completing some task. I enjoyed my time sitting with the kids even with the dishes piled and bags of apples calling my name.

I realized that I had been focusing on all these tasks. I was stressing over apples, black walnuts, dishes, laundry and even blogging. Yes, all those tasks need to be completed. OK, so blogging doesn't need to be done, but that is what I want to be doing. There are always tasks to complete and usually more than I could ever get done, but those tasks are not my primary purpose. Tasks are not what we are here for. We have been created for relationships. Firstly, our relationship to the Lord through Christ and then relationships with people.

Spending time with the kids this evening, instead of spending time doing things, was just what they (and I) needed. No, the rest of the night was not perfect. I still had to remind them to do this and that. I still had to threaten to spank Nolan to get him to do just about anything. (He is the most stubborn two year old!) But underlying, the frustration, the feeling of being overwhelmed and the self pity were gone. There was a peace.