Two and a half years. . . I guess it is like this with most major life events. It seems like yesterday. It seems like another lifetime ago. I am not sure what I expected two and a half years later to look like. I am not sure I thought it out that far, but I am pretty certain I thought it would feel more normal. Life doesn't feel "normal."

Sure we have found a new normal, a routine to our days, a functioning. Our life in many ways now is easier, less stressful, less busy, but there is that constant underlying emptiness, that loneliness, huge gaping holes that can't be filled by anything on this earth. I've tried. At best my attempts are  momentary distractions. At worst they have only led to more frustration and pain.

In what seems to be an excruciatingly slow process I am learning to stand there in that emptiness and loneliness, look to Him for all things, to wait, and to be led by Him. And in small moments I can feel that light, peace, and joy, and what is real, true, and lasting.

For months now I keep coming back to Psalm 23. I am sure it is familiar to you. You've probably heard it at a funeral at some point where it is applied to our physical death.