A Trip Down Memory Lane - Life Language Live

I plan to take a trip down memory lane every so often to revisit some my favorite stories or important events here on the farm. This story was originally shared in February 2006. I have since changed my mind about Nolan being a doer. He did help me in this case, but I now think that was a responder responding to please me. Of course, Vivian was not yet born. She is the true doer. Anyway, it is a still a story that makes me smile.




I realize some of you don't know what Life Languages are. I think you will still enjoy this story, just think of it as the difference in kids instead of Life Languages. I am just telling it to you this way because it is exactly what I thought of as it happened.


Just for a quick intro though, Life Languages is about our communication style. It is like a personality test only much more in depth and accurate. The test is helpful, but the workshop was where it really clicked. Tim & I attended a workshop almost three years ago. I can't tell you how much it helped us understand each other. (And we had been married for about 8 years at that point) Here is the website if you would like an overview of the languages.


The cast
Kellen age 7 Influencer - Lydia age 4 Resposnder - Nolan age 1 1/2 Doer - Me Doer/Shaper - Tim Influencer/Responder The kids haven't actually taken the test. This is just what we think they are!


Yesterday (before Tim came home) I left the three kids in the kitchen with snacks and drinks. (big mistake!) I was in the next room on the computer. I was gone maybe two minutes when Kellen comes running full speed out of the kitchen yelling, "I have to get out of there, AAAH, I can't be in there!" He ran all the way to the other side of the house.


Now most moms probably would have gone running into the kitchen to see what happened expecting something horrible. What would you expect? Barf, blood, poop, maybe Nolan eating his snot? Well, I know my son and the Influencer's flair for drama and I didn't move from the computer. I sat thinking, "Oh now what!" Then I told him (ok I was probably yelling) to walk back in here and tell me what happened. He walks back still saying, "I can't go in there!" and we go into the kitchen together.


What was going on in my kitchen? What horrible thing could cause such a reaction from a seven year old? It was spilt milk. Yes, one glass of milk spilt on the table and dripping off both sides. Oh the horror!


What, you may wonder, were the other two children doing? Miss Responder, who was still sitting at the table eating her chips, looks at me sweetly and says, "I am sorry mommy. I knocked my cup reaching for more chips." (note: she didn't get up to DO anything about the problem) My little Doer is pointing at the mess like "Look what happened" Ok, he didn't do anything (yet) either but he is 1 1/2!


So, I am explaining (yes I think I was still yelling at this point) to Kellen for 1000th time that his reaction would be appropriate for maybe a cut off finger, someone throwing up or Nolan pooping on the floor (it has happened!) It was not an appropriate reaction to milk being spilled. As I am explaining this, I have gotten several rags out of the cupboard and am wiping up some of the milk. I continue to say (as Lydia munches on chips) that next time they should either grab a rag and start cleaning or calmly tell me what has happened so I can start cleaning.


Then, I look at the other side of the table and there is my little Nolan. He has grabbed one the rags and is wiping up the milk on the floor. Oh, finally a child I can relate to!