If you don't have anything nice to say....

I haven't had much to say here on the blog lately. It isn't that there isn't anything to say, it is just that I've been in a bit of a funk. The thoughts running through my brain are grumpy and negative. I'm trying hard to keep it to myself. I've been pretty successful, at least here on the blog. In person? Well, my apologies to those who have been on the receiving end of my grumpiness and occasional rants.

I've let myself get irritated and frustrated by other people. As ridiculous and irresponsible the actions, or in actions, of people may be, they should not steal my peace and my joy. I've let self righteousness and probably envy creep in. And many days I just want to stomp my feet and scream, "It isn't fair!"

And maybe it isn't. But do I really want it to be?

The fact is I work incredibly hard at home and at work. The fact is that many days I am incredibly tired, but I remember that this is what chose. We chose homesteading and homeschooling because it is the kind of life we want for our family. I have no regrets.

I chose to go back to work because we previously did not choose to manage our finances wisely. I chose to work all weekend at a physically demanding job because it it the best fit for our financial goals and our lifestyle. I work hard there, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I couldn't stand myself if I didn't.

The fact is that my rest, my peace, and my joy don't come from myself or from anyone else around me. Those things only come from the life of Christ in me. No matter how lazy, annoying, and selfish the people around me are, I do not have to be irritated and frustrated. Focusing on them is keeping my focus from where it should be. And that only makes me grumpy. It certainly isn't fixing them.